Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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