i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
