Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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