It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
