I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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