Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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