what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
