My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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