dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
