I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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