Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
