So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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