Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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