Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
