you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
