Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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