just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
