i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize