Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
