sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
