You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
