So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
