he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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