Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
