SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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