I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
