I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
BRING THE BAGELS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
