I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
