If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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