I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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