I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
