She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
