Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize