didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
