Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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