ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Your tits are I can't wait for
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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