My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
