Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
