I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
