Dude my mom stole all your condoms
look no pants
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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