I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
