I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
what is it with giant penises always finding me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
