I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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