I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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