I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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