WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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