We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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