you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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