We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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