i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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