I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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