im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
