in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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