I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
