even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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