I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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