bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
