Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
