Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
