Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
