What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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