last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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