bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
