i love accidental penises.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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